Category Archives: maintanance

When Kids Believe a Lie

In her article on the Smart Stepmom When Kids Believe a Lie, Laura Petherbridge says,
“However, many stepmoms believe once dad gets remarried and takes on a second family, that the other children should have compassion and understanding about his financial strain and receive less.”

“This is incorrect. He brought those children into the world, and he is still fully responsible to provide for them. And he signed a divorce agreement making a vow that he would deliver. It is his duty and obligation.”

In a short article like this, Laura Petherbridge cannot be expected to go into the kind of detail needed to do justice to the subjects of child and spousal support payments. However I think a little more “truth” is in order. So, truth be told, we have to understand right up front than everyone needs a little more “compassion” when a new family comes along. This is true in intact families — if new children come along there is less to go around for the other children and for the parents; there is no reason it should be different in separated families, be they blended families or any other type. This is also true if a new family member such as a elderly parent or an unemployed family member comes into the family. Furthermore, it is totally contrary to fundamental equality that children should be subject to different standards just because they were first or were not first or because of a divorce or of separation agreement or because of laws for so-called child-support. We need also to remember that all current alimony/spousal-support and child-support agreements are made under duress. Any father facing family court in America or the rest of the Western World knows he is dead meat before he even starts, and that the children he considered to be his children are no longer his, but are nothing more than tokens for misandric peonage that clearly work contrary to any concept of the child’s best interests or any kind of realization of parental rights, justice or equality. The level of fatherlessness in America is clear proof that family law and the family courts in particular are working against children at every turn. The long path to fundamental justice that we thought had been established or soon would be established in the beginnings of the civil rights and gender equality movements have detoured around family law which has now submerged itself into a morass of deceit and avarice that deserves universal contempt. And that contempt should continue until fathers receive the restitution of family, finances and dignity they deserve for the systematic and systemic injustices they have been forced to endure.

Time to talk about the money

Let’s understand that even a small fraction of the money that men spend fighting in court would do immensely more if it were spent advocating in pubic. The question is how do you get the most bang for the buck (time and money)? Clearly, fathers should stop wasting their efforts on lawyers (and the family courts) and on politicians. Those people have to be seen as the opposition. Father advocates need to spend their time with their comrades, the men and women (relatives and friends like Grandparents, sisters, second wives, etc) that have been hurt or could be hurt by the intolerable situation of fathers and children in family court today. Unfortunately most of those people do not understand the problem they are caught up in. Consequently they play into the hands of the opposition.

The only way men will get their kids back is when they get their money back. As long as there is money to be made from fathers the problem will continue. We need to fight so-called ‘child support’ — the ex-father shakedown — so we can give our children the kind of child support they really need — their fathers. Ex-fathers need to stop being ashamed to talk about the money and start to point out that it was the mothers who wanted the kids but would not accept the responsibility that goes with them — the financial responsibility that goes with raising a family.

Prevent support payments from unwanted pregnancy

Unlike women who have an unquestioned right to have or not have a child after becoming pregnant, men have no choice. However, men can choose to take steps to prevent pregnancy. The use of a condom is the first line of defense. However, accidents happen including damaged condoms. Consequently a more secure approach is desirable.

The most secure method is a vasectomy. This requires a surgical intervention. Unfortunately, there are complications. For example, Wikipedia reports (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy#Vasectomy_reversal) that Post-vasectomy pain syndrome (PVPS) is a chronic and sometimes debilitating condition that may develop immediately or several years after vasectomy. ne survey cites studies that estimate incidence at one case every ten to thirty vasectomies. The pain can be constant, or it can be pain that occurs only at particular times such as with intercourse, ejaculation, or physical exertion. It is possible to have a vasectomy reversed in some cases, should a return to potency be desired at some point in time. Again this is not an assured procedure. Wikipedia reports that Vasectomy reversal is effective at achieving pregnancy in only 50%-70% of cases, and it is costly, with total out-of-pocket costs in the United States often upwards of $10,000. Some men opt for cryostorage of sperm before sterilization but again costs of artificial insemination can be prohibitive.

Another possibility that has revealed itself is the use of anabolic steroids. According to .Stanton C. Honig M.D. (shonig@srhs.org) in a recent newsletter from Men’s Health Network (www.menshealthnetwork.org),
“When a man is taking anabolic steroids, it is virtually impossible for him to get his partner pregnant.” So this could be interpreted as saying there is a male contraceptive. Of course anabolic steroids are regulated drugs and it might be difficult to obtain a legal prescription for the this application. Furthermore, Dr. Honig points out that anabolic steroids can cause health problems that sometimes can be irreversible: “These include aggressive behavior, acne, baldness, prominent breasts, liver disease, high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke. In adolescents, it may result in stunted growth and accelerated puberty changes. [Performance Enhancing Drugs] can also cause sexual dysfunction. When the anabolic steroids are stopped, the “sexual rush” is gone and this will cause testosterone levels to crash to virtually zero. This may cause symptoms such as tiredness, loss of energy and loss of sex drive. Testosterone production may return in a few months, however, in certain situations, it may be a permanent problem. Luckily, there is medical treatment for this problem to raise testosterone levels back to the normal range.

Hence, it is possible to mitigate the possibility of an undesired child birth by pro-active steps, but the reliability and full consequences must be weighed carefully.

Having said all the above, remember if your partner does get pregnant by another man you can still be held responsible if you are married to her or if you have assumed any parental role toward the child (which can be interpreted as living in the same residence). Even if the mother fraudulently fails to let you know the child is not yours, she faces no punishment and you receive no alleviation of your support penalty.

Ex-fathers recommends that you should not rely to any extent on the generalized information given here, but seek competent legal and/or medical advice as applicable if you are in any such situations.

The Big Lie: “We don’t lock up parents who can’t pay. We lock up parents who won’t pay. There is a big difference.”

According to the article (in the Sun News from Macon,Georgia on Macon.com, see below), David Cooke, a senior assistant district attorney in (Houston County) Georgia who leads the county’s child support division said the court works with parents and only jails those unwilling pay. “We don’t lock up parents who can’t pay. We lock up parents who won’t pay. There is a big difference.” Of course Cooke is ignoring the fact that only non-custodial parents who “won’t” pay get locked up.

Across the western world, innumerable custodial parents don’t pay to care for their child themselves but instead receive every imaginable help, including of course “child support” from their victim in (in our opinion) an undeniable child abduction under color of law. The only “big difference” that matters is that the people getting locked up are by and large fathers. This is a shakedown of fathers. The misandry of the family law system is undeniable. The separation of fathers and children is the worst human rights abuse of our time.

Attention David Cooke: it’s time to end the fatherhood shakedown and start a shakeup in family law that restores the rights and dignity of fathers.

www.macon.com/2012/01/30/1884381/local-opinion-divided-on-jail.html
Local opinion: jail time for failure to pay child support?
By BECKY PURSER – bpurser@macon.com
Monday, Jan. 30, 2012
WARNER ROBINS — Whether parents should be locked up for failing to pay child support is debated in Houston County.
Houston Public Defender Nick White is opposed to locking up people who don’t pay, equating it to a debtor’s prison. …